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14 June 2026
The one with the mid-30’s crises...
“...you have been down there, Neo. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends.
And I know that's not where you want to be."
I feel like my life’s hit a dead end. I’m tired of coasting, so I’m teaching myself digital marketing and blogging the progress.
It’s a start.
My name’s Marvyn. I’ve just turned 34, I’m single, with no dependents and in a job I refer to as “my 9-5”.
I’m not broke, no, I wouldn’t say that. However I’m one of the Londoners using the term “cost of living” more often than they’d like.I don't know if mid-thirties crises are a thing, but on Tuesday 2nd June 2026, I was sat in a work performance review and heard myself talking - yes, my autopilot is so down pat I listened to my own waffle - and realised I was full of crap, risk-averse and an underachiever, who’d never given anything 100%.
“Thanks, yeah that’s fine”, I heard myself chime in. I wanted to interrupt and shout “HE’S LYING, HE’S DONE, HE’S OUTTA HERE!!!”, but bills are a thing.
I needed to vent.
If it wasn’t enough that Tuesday is my first weekday in the office (so basically a Monday - ugh ), it was also thundering with rain (this is relevant) so I got a lift home from my colleague and friend Ben.Ben (not his real name) has become the ‘company’ in my ‘misery loves company’ equation. we sang from the same hymn sheet…
“We hate our jobs!”
“We hate our salary!”
“We've hated the company for years, but will do nothing about it!”
…these were a few of our recurring hits and June 2nd was no different… except it was.
We said our farewells and I opened the car door in front of my apartment. Ready to jog to the entrance. Ready to climb the stairs. Ready to open the door, settle in, distract myself, and do nothing about my current life situation. When all of a sudden I was in the scene from ‘The Matrix’ - my favourite movie -, the scene where in the middle of a rainstorm, Neo is about to get out of the car and go back to his predictable, dead end life and Trinity says -
“...you have been down there, Neo. You know that road. You know exactly where it ends.
And I know that's not where you want to be."I resolved that I was going to do something different and ten minutes later I was sitting at the end of my bed reading ‘Atomic Habits’ to the sounds of natural thunder - dramatic but true.
I’d bought the book two weeks prior for my birthday (May 13th), and added it to my impressive collection of unread books.
It wasn’t long after starting the bestseller, renowned for its take on approaching goals, that I realised I didn’t have any. No goals, no targets, I was aiming at nothing.I needed direction. So I did what anybody in 2026 with a burning life question would do...
I asked ChatGPT.